Happy Sunday ladies (& gents)!
I hope you all have had a great weekend. I have a love/hate relationship with weekends, the hype building up to Friday night is too real and then you blink your eyes and it is all over.
Tonight I wanted to share with you an up-close personal side to me and the main motivation behind me launching Abigail’s Eye. While I have always been obsessed with all things fashion, beauty, and decor. These past few years I have been more so than ever.
If you know me and I mean really know me then you may know this but many still don’t. I am an alcoholic. ( I say “am” instead of “was” because I believe I will always have this and will never be able to drink.) I have been sober for 3 years and a few months. I have never talked about it much because it is just a part of who I am. But for some time I have been thinking about the other young women/men that feel like it is impossible to get sober at a very young age. I have been given so much and have wanted to give back hopefully being an inspiration and sharing hope with others that you too can do it and there is so much more to life and that each and every single person does have a purpose!
For some reading this, you are probably lost and do not understand how this ties in to my motivation of launching Abigail’s Eye. Well let me explain, as an alcoholic I lived many years drinking around the clock never thinking I could live a day without it. It consumed my life. Every single thing I did involved drinking. I lost hope and I quit doing all the things I loved. One of the things that I struggled with most when getting sober were the lingering thoughts of what am I going to do with all of this new extra time on my hands, life is going to be so boring, how am I going to do all of these things sober, and most depressingly what is my purpose?
After a stint at a detox center and a couple of treatment facilities, I found myself waking up in a hospital after coming to from an alcohol overdose one week before I turned 22 years old with no one by my side. I was at an all time low but the moment I woke up I knew I had a choice to make. Did I want to live or did I want to die. If I kept doing what I was doing I knew I was going to end up dead and my parents were going to have to bury their daughter. No questions about it. I wanted so badly to live and be sober for quite some time but it was the hardest thing in the world until this night waking up in the hospital. It hit me, all of those thoughts about wondering if I could ever drink like a normal person washed away. I showed up at my parents doorstep and made one last pleading cry for help in getting my feet back on the ground. Without my parents I am sure to say I would not be here today. I would be lying if I told you this journey has been easy and all rainbows and butterflies. The truth is the first year was hell. It was hard, lonely, trying, dark, sad, boring; but at the same time I was happy, peaceful, grateful, and best of all it was memorable.
I was finally excited again about living and the things I loved to do. What has helped me the most in recovery is keeping myself occupied and finding my passion for digitals, decor, and design. These hobbies are what keep me not only physically busy but my mind busy. Too much idle time allowing my mind to wonder is a bad thing that leads to a lonely spot. I try to keep my mind engaged and am constantly styling outfits in my head, thinking about the hottest new trends, and all different decorating ideas. This is what lead me to finally gaining the courage to follow my heart and launch Abigail’s Eye, not only to highlight my passion for all things fashion & decor but to be a positive influence and voice for those that suffer from addiction as well.
Well if that wasn’t some real life real talk, I don’t know what it is. I hope this gives you a little insight on who I am and why I am so passionate about what I love to do. I hope you enjoy following along this crazy journey of what I call living life on life’s terms.
If you ever feel like you are alone, you are not. You are loved. Feel free to message me with any questions or just to chat I would love to share my experience, strength, & hope with you!
And to those that can- I hope you are enjoying a glass of wine while reading this. And to those that can’t, like myself- I hope you are enjoying a glass of Welch’s Sparkling Rosé ! Cheers to this beautiful life!