Happy Sunday Y’all!!
Thanks for joining me on my Sunday night tradition of real life real talk!
If I have been asked “how did you know you had a drinking problem” once, I have been asked this question a thousand times. My immediate sass filled response is always “Believe me.. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know I had a problem.” I know every one always wants more details to go along with that response, but in my eyes it was as simple as that. In the last couple of years I drank I never doubted that I was an alcoholic, I just didn’t know how to stop. Let me clarify my last statement for the non-alcoholics reading this that may be confused; I knew how to stop drinking, I just couldn’t stop drinking.
I could fill an encyclopedia of stories as to why I definitely qualified as an alcoholic and what made me believe I had a problem. But all of those stories come after the day that my drinking went from being fun to becoming a necessity to survive. I don’t remember the exact date, all I remember is there was one day I couldn’t live without drinking and I found myself drinking around the clock. The shaking. The sweating. The vomiting. The anxiety. The irritability. None of these stopped until I had a drink.
My “fun” drinking turned into a living nightmare that I couldn’t escape. It was as if I blinked my eyes and the next thing I knew I was going to sleep with a 20 oz. glass of warm Franzia next to my bed so when I woke up in the morning, I could roll over and chug the entire glass to rid myself from the shakes and vomiting that I knew were going to start at any moment if I didn’t drink.
There was a method to my madness.. Or to me it was just how I survived. I’ll take it a step further to answer “How did I know I had a problem.” So, like I stated I went to sleep with a warm glass of Franzia by my bed every night. There was a reason it was a warm glass of Franzia, because room temperature or warm beverages were easier and faster to chug than cold ones. Normal people #1 don’t go to sleep with a glass of wine by their bed waiting for them when they wake up and #2 don’t legitimately think of ways to make chugging wine easier and faster in the morning. It was insanity what I was doing and what I was putting myself and my family through. I was completely crippled by alcoholism. While knowing I had a problem was the easy part, deciding and being able to do something about my addiction was a whole other story.
So how did I know I had a problem?? Believe me, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know 😉
Stay tune to next weeks 2 part series real life real talk with my parents.
Thanks for following along as I share my passions of digitals, decor, & designs while I shed light on alcoholism. If you have any questions or just want to chat, shoot me a message.