I drank because without alcohol I hated the girl I saw in the mirror, I was never comfortable in my own skin, and I craved to be wanted and accepted. Alcohol made me not hate that girl I saw in the mirror so much, I actually thought she was pretty cute and sexy. Alcohol made me loosen up and that feeling of wanting to crawl out of my skin vanished away. Alcohol made me feel like a completely different person. A person that I grew to love. I never wanted that feeling to go away. I chased that feeling with alcohol until I lost complete control and I was in turn being chased by alcoholism. The only solution I had ever known was alcohol, and that was just a temporary solution. When I got sober I knew I had to put in the work to love myself for exactly who I am and like the woman I see in the mirror or I was never going to be able to stay sober. It’s taken a lot of work, a lot of hard freaking work. But I know today the best solution for my problem is self-love. It doesn’t give me a temporary relief and make me feel like a different person. It has MADE ME a different person.