There is a ‘why’ behind every alcoholic/addict. Why are they doing what they are doing. What don’t they like about themselves? What are they harboring? What insecurities do they have? What trauma have they experienced? There is always an explanation to why we continue to pick up a drink/drug when it’s ruining our life and killing us. Addiction is a cunning and baffling disease. Many don’t and won’t understand unless they are one of us. Alcohol made me feel like a completely different person. A person I actually liked. And I chased that feeling into the gates of insanity and almost to my coffin. Until I figured out my ‘why’ And started to work on it, I continued and would have always continued to have the obsession with alcohol.