LAUGH A LOT

Before recovery I had forgot how to laugh. It had been so long since I was truly happy and enjoyed living and life in general. It’s amazing what sobriety can do for you, now I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing. We have too much to be grateful for to take life so seriously. Choose happiness- it all starts with you!

xoxo,

RECOVERING WITHOUT AA

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The two looks I give people that tell me I will fail without AA. The first look of uhh I respect you but you sound crazy as sh*t. & The second look smiling back at them like look at me now.

I am here to say that you CAN stay sober and live a beautiful life in recovery outside of the rooms of AA/NA. Just smile and walk away from the ones that say you will fail if you leave the rooms. Do what works for you and always remember THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO RECOVER!!

xoxo,

KISSES FOR RECOVERY

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I can assure you that no one was dying to kiss me during active addiction. More like they took off running the other way, lol! This right here though is one of the best perks of recovery, knowing that humans & dogs truly love the person you have become and want to give you thousands of kisses. 🙂

XOXO

PEACE

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Grateful for my recovery and the sense of peace it has brought me. One thing I struggled with at the beginning of sobriety was accepting the fact that just because I got sober didn’t mean “bad” things happened to me. After a lot of work and months in the program I realized what recovery had really brought me. It brought me the tools and basically cast a spell of peacefulness over me. Those “bad” things still happened, I just had the resources and calmness to deal with them. A couple of weeks ago I had a couple scary health concerns come up; my white blood count was very low, a steady low-grade fever, and arthritis in my blood. I was referred to a rheumatologist and am now being tested for lupus. Yes, it can be scary to not know what is wrong with you and what your future holds but I’m at peace and know that I’m in great hands and we will get to the bottom of this and it’s just another turn the road. Without recovery I’d be freaking the eff out and would be wondering why all of these “bad” things could happen to me since I’m sober…..

PROUD

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All I ever wanted was to be proud of the woman I saw in the mirror. I spent years hating myself and believed I was going to find my solution at the bottom of every bottle of wine, vodka bottle, perfume bottle, bottle of rubbing alcohol…. That’s how far and deep I searched. I looked in all of the wrong places when I held the solution the whole time. The solution lied within me, I just had to want it. I had to want to learn how to love myself and put the work in to value myself for exactly who I was. In the beginning of sobriety I would have told you that looking for my solution at the bottom of bottles was easier. My determination and perseverance were the only things that kept me going one day at a time.  Here I am now proud as hell of the woman I see in the mirror. Trust me, we do recover!!

LOOKIN BACK AT THE WEEKEND LIKE..

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The weekend comes and goes faster than you can blink your eyes. Looking back on this weekend, I can’t help but smile about the progress I’ve made in recovery. Something happened Saturday night that had it happened 4 years ago during active addiction I would have would have been out of sorts and freaking out. It’s taken me a long time but one of the best things I’ve learned in recovery is to not take life so seriously and to not get worked up over small things. So on Saturday night we were on our way to a wedding, in which we had to stop by Target to grab a gift bag real quick. I was designated to run in and pick it up. The moment I walked in the store my dress ripped straight up the back a little bit below my butt. With each step I took the more it ripped. I froze in place and didn’t even know what to do. I couldn’t hide it and we were in a hurry so I had no choice but to run grab the bag, checkout, and get the heck out of there. I’m standing at the self checkout looking at the video surveillance screen and can see the people busting out laughing behind me. By this point, my dress is ripped almost to my butt cheeks. I finished up and ran out of the store. Thankfully we weren’t too far from the house, so we ran back home I threw on another dress and the night carried on. Before recovery I would have lost my sh*t and most likely would have ended up staying at home. I suffer from severe anxiety, alcohol use to be my self soothing medication. It has taken a lot of time to live life on life’s terms and learn to go with the flow. That’s why they say it’s progress not perfection!

SOBER WEEKEND

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Happy sober Friday night friends! Low key kind of night trying to shake off a migraine before a crazy busy weekend. What are your weekend plans!? We have a wedding tomorrow and my nieces two year old birthday party on Sunday.. It will be a busy weekend but a memorable one making memories with my loved ones. The gifts of sobriety are oh so good!

xoxo,

THE BRAVEST THING I’VE DONE

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The bravest thing I ever did was give sobriety one last shot when I wanted to die more than anything in this world. The last 6 months of my active addiction I lived in a constant state of wanting to be dead but too scared to kill myself. I woke every morning hoping it was my last and fell asleep every night hoping I didn’t wake up the next morning. These were the darkest, scariest, loneliest times of my life. I live every single day proud of my bravery for giving sobriety one more go. What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done in your life for you!?

XOXO,

OWN YOUR ALCOHOLISM DEMOLISH ITS POWER

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The moment I took ownership of my alcoholism, it lost all of its power. This didn’t happen on my first try though, in fact, it took me a long painful while to get to this point of complete and total surrender. I had flirted with sobriety for nearly two years prior to this. I was in and out of the rooms, experiencing relapse after relapse, going to one rehab after another…

I knew I had a problem, it was obvious and I was aware of it. But I was doing the whole sobriety thing for the wrong reasons and wrong people. I was flirting with sobriety because my parents were making me. After two years I was finally exhausted. I was worn out and didn’t have anything left in me. That’s when everything changed for me.

I gave sobriety one more shot, but this time I did it for completely different reasons and people. I did it for ME! I did it because I knew without a doubt in my mind that I was an alcoholic and will be an alcoholic until the day I die. My ownership of my disease of alcoholism demolished its power over me. I felt like the chains had been ripped off and I was free the grips of alcoholism. Did you feel a sense of freeness when you owned your addiction!?

RECOVERY TOOLBOX

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My recovery toolbox is a lot like my style. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Mixing animal prints and stripes like I mix AA literature and Instagram’s online sober community. I choose my outfits that fit my style just like I choose the tools I use that work for me and my recovery. There is more than one way to recover. Do what works for you.