SOBER WEEKEND

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Happy sober Friday night friends! Low key kind of night trying to shake off a migraine before a crazy busy weekend. What are your weekend plans!? We have a wedding tomorrow and my nieces two year old birthday party on Sunday.. It will be a busy weekend but a memorable one making memories with my loved ones. The gifts of sobriety are oh so good!

xoxo,

RECOVERY TOOLBOX

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My recovery toolbox is a lot like my style. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Mixing animal prints and stripes like I mix AA literature and Instagram’s online sober community. I choose my outfits that fit my style just like I choose the tools I use that work for me and my recovery. There is more than one way to recover. Do what works for you.

ADDICTION FLASHBACKS

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Real raw active addiction flashback: I had another caption written out for this photo until I started to stare at this image and a flashback hit me full force. It’s memories like these that I play through that serve as my daily reminders why I will never ever be able to drink again. So in this photo please take a look at these blue glass canisters and use them as a reference point in my flashback I am about to share…

My parents had tried to kick me out of their house a few nights before this flashback, they even called the police on me because I wouldn’t leave to only find out that they had to give me a 30 day vacate letter by law. They couldn’t even kick me out of their house when they wanted to, so crazy! So on this particular day my mom had locked me out of the house because I was out of this world intoxicated and her day care parents were about to come to pick up their kids from the house. I was irate and wasn’t going to give up on getting back into the house. I got in the hot tub for a short bit until I decided to get out of the hot tub, pick up not one but two glass canisters (just like the ones in this photo) that were on the outdoor coffee table and throw them as hard as I could at the back glass door. The canisters shattered in front of my eyes but the door stood tall in one single piece…… Just as I was grabbing my next object to chunk at the door my parents flung open the door and came out running.

And that is exactly where my flashback ends. These bits and pieces of flashbacks remind just what alcohol does to me and what I will go back to with one drink. People look at me now and say I would have never imagined that you went through any of that or did any of that. Well I did and will do it again if I do not remain sober. I share these raw moments of my active addiction because you never know who might need to hear something they relate to.

IT’S NOT A RACE

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recovery is not a race. anything that is worth a damn doesn’t come fast and doesn’t come easy. slow down, let go of control, keep an open mind, and always remember nothing happens over night.

 

YOU DIDN’T BREAK ME, DARLING

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sometimes I look in the mirror and can not only feel how far I have come but I can see how far I have come and I can not help but smirk and think about the guys that called me piggy in middle school and high school. at the time it hurt like hell and led to a decade of self-image issues which turned into my battle with alcoholism. but look at me now. alive and thriving. you all didn’t break me. you don’t own that kind of power.

HAWAII OUTFIT DETAILS

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Sweater | Jeans | Shoes | Purse

Sports Bra | Leggings | Sweat Shirt | Tennis Shoes

Swim Suit | Shorts | Sunglasses

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Jumpsuit | Jacket | Shoes | Hat | Purse

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Swim Top | Swim Bottoms | Kimono | Hat

Dress | Heels

Sweat Shirt | Leggings | Shoes

Swim Suit Top | Swim Suit Bottom | Hat

Top | Pants | Heels

Swim Suit Top | Swim Suit Bottom | Hat

Sports Bra | Leggings | Shoes

Romper | Heels

Dress | Jean Jacket | Shoes | Purse

Dress | Sandals

Swim Suit Top | Swim Suit Bottom | Cover Up | Hat

Shop all of my looks by clicking the links below the photo. <3

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

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Happy sober weekend loves! Always remember women change the world. Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. And may we raise them! Happy #internationalwomensday to each and every one of you babes! First and foremost thanks to the strongest most incredible woman I know, my mother; thank you for raising me and being the best role model, but a special thanks for showing tough love when I needed it the most and it ended up saving my life. Thanks to all of  you for inspiring me everyday. Tons of loves to each one of you fab women! I am PROUD! Super proud of all of the women out there kicking a$$ and taking names. I hope everyone has a great sober and safe Friday night!

#MIRACLEMONDAY

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#miraclemonday back at it… 25-year-old successful professional vs. 18-year-old lost crazy party girl. This post is for all of the people who told me I was a failure and would never amount to anything. Well look at me now! The best revenge will always be to smile and be happy. Drive ’em crazy and smile at the haters <3

SMILES FOR SOBRIETY AND FRIDAY’S

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Two things that will ALWAYS make me smile are Friday’s and my sobriety that I have worked dang hard for!! So all smiles over here today when I think about how far I have come in my 1,320 days sober and because it’s the freakin’ weekend baby. I hope you all have a lovely sober weekend friends!